Louder than Words

The question I was faced with now is, how do you know when someone loves you. This will be a little tricky and hard to answer, but here goes.
Women may not be as complex as men to answer this. Women are more emotional,so we will show you we love you. Women dont have a problem with showing or telling you their feelings. Once a woman lets you in, you'll know.
With men, sometimes it can be hard to explain. Men are not as emotional as women (not most men) so they tend to release their hurt or pain differently. In most cases, if a man has been hurt badly by a woman, they tend to take longer to TELL you they love you. Men arent built like women, they get over or deal with hurt and pain differently. Some men tend to show you by actions first before saying it. Such as, introducing you to their friends, then family, the time they spend with you, the way they concern themselves with what may be going on with you. I cant really answer why men tend to be this way but I have seen this before in different men (male friends). What I do know is these men feel that it is ok to show you before they tell you. Some men feel a woman may be rushing or tryin to force them to say it before they are really ready. All of this pertains to real men not players!!
As a woman, of coarse we want to hear those 3 words but I do believe, at times, Actions do speak louder then words. I think you will know deep down inside, trust your gut instinct. Your instinct can pretty much tell you if you believe that he loves you. Like the way he tells you things upfront and you dont have to find out about it, its out of respect. The way he communicates with you, he takes the time to listen, not only yell and fuss. He wants to spend time with you because he wants to not out of obligation or because he doesnt want to hear your mouth later. The way he touches you with caress because he cares. Us women were built differently and we can pick up on nurture, we have a gut instint that men cant explain because they dont have it. Sometimes I prefer for you to show me better then you can tell me because actions DO speak louder then words. Dont worry or rush it. It will be said eventually but he may be showing you now.

Descisions

There comes a time when you will care for someone deeply. Maybe even, you caring for them more then they care for you. In the end, always make good judgements by using your brain and not your Emotions. No matter how much you care for a person don't make decisions based on the emotions. Think very carefully. If there comes a time where you are faced with having to make a decision and your emotions are involved, take a step back and think things through thoroughly. If you are at this place in a relationship, there are things that has happened or flags that went up, so sit back and think clearly. If you felt sometimes communication wasn't right or there was no communication, think about why. If there were times that you felt the feelings weren't mutual, think about why. If you noticed the touching isn't the same, think about why. If those words "I Love you" are not repeated anymore, think about why. All things happen for a reason, and those things are shown to us at any given time or a course of time. You have to be able to think clearly and make sound decisions, that are not based off of an Emotion, especially in relationship. If things are getting bad and you're questioning yourself "why is this happening" or "what should I do" sit back and think clearly. Did you treat the other person the way you wanted to be treated? Was that treatment given in return? Where you giving your all into the relationship? Was the other person giving their all back? Are you trying to keep the passion going? Is the other person trying to keep the passion going also? If any question you ask yourself is coming back one sided, then you need to think things through clearly. When relationships become lengthy, some people stay out of fear, security, comfort or loneliness. You shouldn't make a decision that impacts your life based on any emotion. Not from fear, not from sadness, not from anger, not from loneliness or any other emotion. If the relationship is worth saving, both parties have to be willing to communicate openly and honestly. Some things that may be said may not be what you want to hear, but its always best to hear the truth..... No matter how much it may hurt. Its better to heal from the Truth instead of dissolving in an infectious lie. Communication is key to any success.

How I Love

Sometimes saying I love you, leaves the other person just knowing that they are loved.The question is, do you know how I love you.    I love you completely and wholeheartedly. I love you with every fiber of my being. Our existence as living as One is my goal. I love you enough to put God at the head of our relationship to let Him guide us down a path to Forever. Letting no weapon form against us or allowing no person to put asunder. I love you enough to know, you are the Head of our household and submission is not a problem. I love you enough to accept the decisions you make and trust your ability of being honest. I was created to be that type of Woman for you.    I love you enough to extend my heart to a blended family which reaches children that I did not birth. I love the Man you've become and the Man you will be. I love you enough to dwell on the good and the positive. I will not think of the things that can, will or might go wrong, because things will always happen. But I love you enough to concentrate on Us making it past those hurdles. I love you enough to Pray for our well being, for us to live a long prosperous life.    I love you enough to not allow halfhearted love, anger or resentment to build. To always communicate so we can understand and respect each others opinions. To not allow the possibility of Us not making it or not working out, to exist. To not be afraid of working harder to make things better. To not allow Us to become comfortable and forget about the other. To make sure We remember to keep the fire going and work at keeping it spicy.       I love you enough to know all these things take work and can not transform over night. I love you enough to know with time things get better. I love Us enough to understand, respect and honor "I Do." This is how I Love.

Reliability

After taking care of everything you need to take care of, at times you just want somebody there that you can completely rely on. When others are always looking to you to be reliable for them, who can you turn to when you need that reliability. You find yourself helping family and friends, being there for others when they need it and even helping out in a financial way to some. But when things break down, don't go right or needing that talk to help guide you, whose there for you. When you need or wish you had just one person that you can rely on in your time of need, who do you turn to. You want to be able to rely on your Mate the way others rely on you. Having that person who is willing to listen and communicate to you when you need it, is needed. You can't always be the strong reliable person ALL the time. At times you need to let go and rely on your Mate. You need to be vulnerable, let your guard down and allow or let your Mate be reliable to you. Sometimes it can be hard to do, especially when you have been the strong reliable person for so many people for so long. But when the time comes,you will want to have just that One person that you can rely on and one day, I will rely on Him.

It's Not Jealousy!

Although we all make decisions, we don’t know what the final and complete outcome will be in the end. We tend to make most decisions based on the Right Now. It was my decision to walk away.

It’s Not Jealousy, its Anger… After all of the pain, the arguing, the late night returns, the not coming home, the cheating, the lying, the games, the not working, the divorce, I decided to walk away. I wanted more for you but couldn't get it out of you.

It’s Not Jealousy, its hurt… After all the years, the history, the children, the marriage, the good times, the holidays, the rekindling, now you decide to try and become a productive member to society. But it won’t be me to see this advancement.

It’s Not Jealousy, its common sense… After taking the weight and putting it on my shoulders for so long, you should want to help assist with maintaining the dwelling of where your seeds are. It shouldn’t take an outsider to say, you should do this or that. You should be willing or wanting to help on your own.

It’s Not Jealousy, it’s God’s Master Plan… I may have been angry… I may have been hurt… But maybe God needed me to walk away because He knew you could be a better Man. Maybe, I hindered you from being the better man because of the strong woman I am. Maybe I helped prepare you for the woman you are supposed to be better for.

It’s Not Jealousy, its confidence… You say you have moved on to better things… I would say you are right because your past was good and you have now found better but you’ve already had the Best (me)!... But I decided to walk away because Greatness is now before me!

The Signs

Sometime we question ourselves or doubt our decisions. Sometime we have to stop and look at the signs that are in front of us, or the signs that are given to us. At times we may not want to see them, hear them, acknowledge them or even accept them. If you really want to know, take yourself out of the equation. Think as if the issue or signs were for another person. Would you tell that other person to make that decision? Sometimes it can be hard to take your own advice.

Instance one: A friend wanted to know if I thought the person she was dating, was really into her or if I thought he cared about her the same way she care about him. Now this can go for a man or a woman. That person will show you how much they are into you by a number of things. That person goes out more with their girls, or with their guys more then you get to see them... you all are probably just kickin' it.

You notice when you tell that other person how you feel and they don't reciprocate the feeling is mutual, that is a sign that this relationship isn't going much further. Prepare to only date or just see that person casually, because you will start to invest feelings that will not give you a return on your investment.

Instance two: A friend started seeing someone that was in the process of going through a separation. The stories all seemed so real and vivid. As the conversations grew, the build up to intimacy was sparked. Once the impact of intimacy happened, the conversations grew shorter and fewer. My friend wondered, if this happened because of the intimacy. I'm thinking, that separation has probably happened more then once and it will probably continue to happen. If there is no paper, without the judges seal on it, its a sign... don't do it.

Instance three: A friend of mine, runs into an old flame. They spark up conversation and reminisce. During the conversation, the mention of the past tryst they shared came up. Of coarse that topic was gently touched on as to possibly happen again, along with other things. Later in the conversation, the mention of being to busy to settle down came up also. I said, I hope you seen the sign in front of you! First, you know this will lead to one thing and one thing only... SEX. You might have a nice time and go out, but the main thing is, its gonna go down! The second thing is, all you will have is a good time and nothing more. In your first conversation, the mention of being to busy to be settled down with a person you can love or care about, is a hint.

If you see the signs up front and you are willing to play by that game, then its all good. As long as you pay attention to the signs. As adults, we have the choice to be busy, not want to settle down and have casual relationships. As long as you go in with your eyes wide open, then no one gets hurt. Don't sugar coat the signs, the signs are there to tell you something ( Stop, Winding road, Slippery When Wet, LOL), to help you make judgement calls. But if you ignore the signs, you might crash.

Determined

This is a late entry and I should be asleep but I was thinking of this. In every dark situation, there is always a little light. I am that little light that was in a dark place. No matter my circumstances, I was always determined to push through and go forward. Looking back now, I even realized that at an early age.
Think back to being a child, like in Eighth grade. It could have been a fun time for many. For me, it was the best that I made it. Imagine not having name brand clothes or shoes. That was nothing to me, I was happy to just have any clothes or shoes. A parent with no car or even a job. Imaging having only one parent that had an illness that they preferred. Imagine getting ready for you Eighth grade graduation, with no parent there to help you. Not to comb your hair, not to pick out that special outfit, not to congratulate you or even knock the wrinkles out of your graduation gown. Not because your parent isn't alive but because their illness keeps them in places they prefer instead of where the should or need to be.
Imagine that child being me. Imagine me, waking up that special morning, with the sun shining bright and being able to hear the birds chirping. Thinking, what a wonderful morning as I commence on a new and memorable journey in life. As I got out of bed to begin this important journey, I searched the house for my parent. My parent was no where in sight. Not because of death but because of an illness that destroys families. The outfit didn't matter to me, nor did the hair or the shoes. What did matter to me was the fact that my parent wasn't there to help me prepare to put on my graduation robe.
I slowly grabbed my rode and began to lightly iron the robe, making sure I didn't apply to much heat to burn the material. I began to cry because I had to do it all by myself. No one to excite me, congratulate me or say how proud they were of me. After the last tear fell from my small face, I gathered my thoughts. I was the one that did the hard work to get here and I would be the one to make sure I got to where I needed to be.
At that time in life, I thought the place I needed to be was the school building practicing on marching in the auditorium. I realized later in life that I would make sure I would get to any place that I am destined to be. I was determined, even as a child, to not let anything or anyone hold me back to completing success. You don't have to let your obstacles control you, but you get around and through those obstacles if you stay focus and determined. You must not give up.... ever!