Choices

Nothing much is going on. I don't want to use this blog as a vent source, so I wont vent here about my issues. They only thing going on right now is reminiscing of the past. Thinking about the what ifs. If I had did this, or if I would have taken that route. I keep thinking about the, if I would have chosen him! I cant go back, all I can do is look forward. Try to make changes in my life that will be for the better. Knowing that things may have been better, if I did choose him, I try to do things now that will put me in the place I know I would be in if I were with him. Such as financial choices, educational choices, things like that.
Not to say everything I do is based on him, from the past but choices I know that he would want to see me achieve. The current person is nothing like the one I let get away but he has his own qualities. Some qualities are good, very good.....but I still cant help but wonder about the other qualities I want also. The other qualities that truly match more of me then just the mother and caregiver side.
I'm hoping I stop thinking as much as I do or time will continue to pass. I have a plan. Either be part of the plan or become the plan.

The Casual Side

This post will be a little different. I was asked by a young lady, what was my opinion regarding a young man she is dating. She asked him about their relationship. Where do they stand. She said he never answers that question. He usually changes the subject or mentions, other things. She only wants an answer because she doesnt want to hurt him. I told her, he doesnt want to answer the question because he's scared she going to ask for something more and he really doesnt want it to be anything more then what it is, casual. Now, she doesnt want a committed relationship from him because she just doesnt want to take that route at this time in life.
I asked her if he tries to take control of situations or is he demanding, she said yes to both, but once they meet up, he can be so sweet. If he feels he can control the situation, he'll feel as if he can control the emotions in the casual relationship. But, if he only took the time to listen, he would also know she is on the same page as him... Keeping it casual.
He will continue to evade the question because the control and the demands make him feel real manly, and he doesnt want to be feel committed or tied down. For some women, we need to here that things are still casual because it can help us with a mental reality check. But if you asking a guy a question about you alls relationship and he doesnt answer, thats as good as getting the answer. He aint ready so dont force it. Keep it casual or start to moving on.
In this case, the young lady just wants to confirm they are still casual because she just doesnt want to hurt him because she doesnt want anything more then what it is. He would know that if he just listened. Some guys get so caught up into there own ego's that, he probably thinking, "Im not answering that question cuz I know she wants me more"... Thats not the case all the time brotha. Maybe she just want to make sure your feelings havent changed and you are still on the same page as her, the casual side.

Enough Rope

I was faced with the question today, when is enough, enough? I say it depends. If you are a strong person, mentally and emotionally, enough for me would be after my plan is complete. If your mate is doing things that make you say Hmmm, dont go off to much. Go off enough so your mate knows its bothering you but start a plan. Get all your stuff in order, school, work, finances, what ever is out of order for YOU, get it in order. Sooner or later, that mate will mess up again. Im not saying if your mate messes up once or twice, its all down hill. Im saying, if your mate is messing up all the time and you're ready to say enough is enough! This pertains to you. Make it a point to let your mate know, Hey, you did this (again) and its bothering me. Tell him or her to remember that. You give that person enough rope and they'll hang themselves. When you have all your things in order and enough is now enough, cut that rope.

1st time

Im completely new to blogging. I have never blogged before. Im full of information that can help people, be it big or small issues. I have been told time and time again, that the advice or suggestions I give should be written in a book. But I wouldnt know where to start with all the lessons Ive learned to pass on to others for advised or to help them. The only thing I could think of doing, was to start a blog and let it go from there. Lets see how well or far this goes.