Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Determined

This is a late entry and I should be asleep but I was thinking of this. In every dark situation, there is always a little light. I am that little light that was in a dark place. No matter my circumstances, I was always determined to push through and go forward. Looking back now, I even realized that at an early age.
Think back to being a child, like in Eighth grade. It could have been a fun time for many. For me, it was the best that I made it. Imagine not having name brand clothes or shoes. That was nothing to me, I was happy to just have any clothes or shoes. A parent with no car or even a job. Imaging having only one parent that had an illness that they preferred. Imagine getting ready for you Eighth grade graduation, with no parent there to help you. Not to comb your hair, not to pick out that special outfit, not to congratulate you or even knock the wrinkles out of your graduation gown. Not because your parent isn't alive but because their illness keeps them in places they prefer instead of where the should or need to be.
Imagine that child being me. Imagine me, waking up that special morning, with the sun shining bright and being able to hear the birds chirping. Thinking, what a wonderful morning as I commence on a new and memorable journey in life. As I got out of bed to begin this important journey, I searched the house for my parent. My parent was no where in sight. Not because of death but because of an illness that destroys families. The outfit didn't matter to me, nor did the hair or the shoes. What did matter to me was the fact that my parent wasn't there to help me prepare to put on my graduation robe.
I slowly grabbed my rode and began to lightly iron the robe, making sure I didn't apply to much heat to burn the material. I began to cry because I had to do it all by myself. No one to excite me, congratulate me or say how proud they were of me. After the last tear fell from my small face, I gathered my thoughts. I was the one that did the hard work to get here and I would be the one to make sure I got to where I needed to be.
At that time in life, I thought the place I needed to be was the school building practicing on marching in the auditorium. I realized later in life that I would make sure I would get to any place that I am destined to be. I was determined, even as a child, to not let anything or anyone hold me back to completing success. You don't have to let your obstacles control you, but you get around and through those obstacles if you stay focus and determined. You must not give up.... ever!

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