Tuesday, July 9, 2013
Reliability
After taking care of everything you need to take care of, at times you just want somebody there that you can completely rely on. When others are always looking to you to be reliable for them, who can you turn to when you need that reliability. You find yourself helping family and friends, being there for others when they need it and even helping out in a financial way to some. But when things break down, don't go right or needing that talk to help guide you, whose there for you. When you need or wish you had just one person that you can rely on in your time of need, who do you turn to.
You want to be able to rely on your Mate the way others rely on you. Having that person who is willing to listen and communicate to you when you need it, is needed. You can't always be the strong reliable person ALL the time. At times you need to let go and rely on your Mate. You need to be vulnerable, let your guard down and allow or let your Mate be reliable to you. Sometimes it can be hard to do, especially when you have been the strong reliable person for so many people for so long. But when the time comes,you will want to have just that One person that you can rely on and one day, I will rely on Him.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
It's Not Jealousy!
Although we all make decisions, we don’t know what the final and complete outcome will be in the end. We tend to make most decisions based on the Right Now. It was my decision to walk away.
It’s Not Jealousy, its Anger… After all of the pain, the arguing, the late night returns, the not coming home, the cheating, the lying, the games, the not working, the divorce, I decided to walk away. I wanted more for you but couldn't get it out of you.
It’s Not Jealousy, its hurt… After all the years, the history, the children, the marriage, the good times, the holidays, the rekindling, now you decide to try and become a productive member to society. But it won’t be me to see this advancement.
It’s Not Jealousy, its common sense… After taking the weight and putting it on my shoulders for so long, you should want to help assist with maintaining the dwelling of where your seeds are. It shouldn’t take an outsider to say, you should do this or that. You should be willing or wanting to help on your own.
It’s Not Jealousy, it’s God’s Master Plan… I may have been angry… I may have been hurt… But maybe God needed me to walk away because He knew you could be a better Man. Maybe, I hindered you from being the better man because of the strong woman I am. Maybe I helped prepare you for the woman you are supposed to be better for.
It’s Not Jealousy, its confidence… You say you have moved on to better things… I would say you are right because your past was good and you have now found better but you’ve already had the Best (me)!... But I decided to walk away because Greatness is now before me!
It’s Not Jealousy, its Anger… After all of the pain, the arguing, the late night returns, the not coming home, the cheating, the lying, the games, the not working, the divorce, I decided to walk away. I wanted more for you but couldn't get it out of you.
It’s Not Jealousy, its hurt… After all the years, the history, the children, the marriage, the good times, the holidays, the rekindling, now you decide to try and become a productive member to society. But it won’t be me to see this advancement.
It’s Not Jealousy, its common sense… After taking the weight and putting it on my shoulders for so long, you should want to help assist with maintaining the dwelling of where your seeds are. It shouldn’t take an outsider to say, you should do this or that. You should be willing or wanting to help on your own.
It’s Not Jealousy, it’s God’s Master Plan… I may have been angry… I may have been hurt… But maybe God needed me to walk away because He knew you could be a better Man. Maybe, I hindered you from being the better man because of the strong woman I am. Maybe I helped prepare you for the woman you are supposed to be better for.
It’s Not Jealousy, its confidence… You say you have moved on to better things… I would say you are right because your past was good and you have now found better but you’ve already had the Best (me)!... But I decided to walk away because Greatness is now before me!
Monday, February 7, 2011
The Signs
Sometime we question ourselves or doubt our decisions. Sometime we have to stop and look at the signs that are in front of us, or the signs that are given to us. At times we may not want to see them, hear them, acknowledge them or even accept them. If you really want to know, take yourself out of the equation. Think as if the issue or signs were for another person. Would you tell that other person to make that decision? Sometimes it can be hard to take your own advice.
Instance one: A friend wanted to know if I thought the person she was dating, was really into her or if I thought he cared about her the same way she care about him. Now this can go for a man or a woman. That person will show you how much they are into you by a number of things. That person goes out more with their girls, or with their guys more then you get to see them... you all are probably just kickin' it.
You notice when you tell that other person how you feel and they don't reciprocate the feeling is mutual, that is a sign that this relationship isn't going much further. Prepare to only date or just see that person casually, because you will start to invest feelings that will not give you a return on your investment.
Instance two: A friend started seeing someone that was in the process of going through a separation. The stories all seemed so real and vivid. As the conversations grew, the build up to intimacy was sparked. Once the impact of intimacy happened, the conversations grew shorter and fewer. My friend wondered, if this happened because of the intimacy. I'm thinking, that separation has probably happened more then once and it will probably continue to happen. If there is no paper, without the judges seal on it, its a sign... don't do it.
Instance three: A friend of mine, runs into an old flame. They spark up conversation and reminisce. During the conversation, the mention of the past tryst they shared came up. Of coarse that topic was gently touched on as to possibly happen again, along with other things. Later in the conversation, the mention of being to busy to settle down came up also. I said, I hope you seen the sign in front of you! First, you know this will lead to one thing and one thing only... SEX. You might have a nice time and go out, but the main thing is, its gonna go down! The second thing is, all you will have is a good time and nothing more. In your first conversation, the mention of being to busy to be settled down with a person you can love or care about, is a hint.
If you see the signs up front and you are willing to play by that game, then its all good. As long as you pay attention to the signs. As adults, we have the choice to be busy, not want to settle down and have casual relationships. As long as you go in with your eyes wide open, then no one gets hurt. Don't sugar coat the signs, the signs are there to tell you something ( Stop, Winding road, Slippery When Wet, LOL), to help you make judgement calls. But if you ignore the signs, you might crash.
Instance one: A friend wanted to know if I thought the person she was dating, was really into her or if I thought he cared about her the same way she care about him. Now this can go for a man or a woman. That person will show you how much they are into you by a number of things. That person goes out more with their girls, or with their guys more then you get to see them... you all are probably just kickin' it.
You notice when you tell that other person how you feel and they don't reciprocate the feeling is mutual, that is a sign that this relationship isn't going much further. Prepare to only date or just see that person casually, because you will start to invest feelings that will not give you a return on your investment.
Instance two: A friend started seeing someone that was in the process of going through a separation. The stories all seemed so real and vivid. As the conversations grew, the build up to intimacy was sparked. Once the impact of intimacy happened, the conversations grew shorter and fewer. My friend wondered, if this happened because of the intimacy. I'm thinking, that separation has probably happened more then once and it will probably continue to happen. If there is no paper, without the judges seal on it, its a sign... don't do it.
Instance three: A friend of mine, runs into an old flame. They spark up conversation and reminisce. During the conversation, the mention of the past tryst they shared came up. Of coarse that topic was gently touched on as to possibly happen again, along with other things. Later in the conversation, the mention of being to busy to settle down came up also. I said, I hope you seen the sign in front of you! First, you know this will lead to one thing and one thing only... SEX. You might have a nice time and go out, but the main thing is, its gonna go down! The second thing is, all you will have is a good time and nothing more. In your first conversation, the mention of being to busy to be settled down with a person you can love or care about, is a hint.
If you see the signs up front and you are willing to play by that game, then its all good. As long as you pay attention to the signs. As adults, we have the choice to be busy, not want to settle down and have casual relationships. As long as you go in with your eyes wide open, then no one gets hurt. Don't sugar coat the signs, the signs are there to tell you something ( Stop, Winding road, Slippery When Wet, LOL), to help you make judgement calls. But if you ignore the signs, you might crash.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Determined
This is a late entry and I should be asleep but I was thinking of this. In every dark situation, there is always a little light. I am that little light that was in a dark place. No matter my circumstances, I was always determined to push through and go forward. Looking back now, I even realized that at an early age.
Think back to being a child, like in Eighth grade. It could have been a fun time for many. For me, it was the best that I made it. Imagine not having name brand clothes or shoes. That was nothing to me, I was happy to just have any clothes or shoes. A parent with no car or even a job. Imaging having only one parent that had an illness that they preferred. Imagine getting ready for you Eighth grade graduation, with no parent there to help you. Not to comb your hair, not to pick out that special outfit, not to congratulate you or even knock the wrinkles out of your graduation gown. Not because your parent isn't alive but because their illness keeps them in places they prefer instead of where the should or need to be.
Imagine that child being me. Imagine me, waking up that special morning, with the sun shining bright and being able to hear the birds chirping. Thinking, what a wonderful morning as I commence on a new and memorable journey in life. As I got out of bed to begin this important journey, I searched the house for my parent. My parent was no where in sight. Not because of death but because of an illness that destroys families. The outfit didn't matter to me, nor did the hair or the shoes. What did matter to me was the fact that my parent wasn't there to help me prepare to put on my graduation robe.
I slowly grabbed my rode and began to lightly iron the robe, making sure I didn't apply to much heat to burn the material. I began to cry because I had to do it all by myself. No one to excite me, congratulate me or say how proud they were of me. After the last tear fell from my small face, I gathered my thoughts. I was the one that did the hard work to get here and I would be the one to make sure I got to where I needed to be.
At that time in life, I thought the place I needed to be was the school building practicing on marching in the auditorium. I realized later in life that I would make sure I would get to any place that I am destined to be. I was determined, even as a child, to not let anything or anyone hold me back to completing success. You don't have to let your obstacles control you, but you get around and through those obstacles if you stay focus and determined. You must not give up.... ever!
Think back to being a child, like in Eighth grade. It could have been a fun time for many. For me, it was the best that I made it. Imagine not having name brand clothes or shoes. That was nothing to me, I was happy to just have any clothes or shoes. A parent with no car or even a job. Imaging having only one parent that had an illness that they preferred. Imagine getting ready for you Eighth grade graduation, with no parent there to help you. Not to comb your hair, not to pick out that special outfit, not to congratulate you or even knock the wrinkles out of your graduation gown. Not because your parent isn't alive but because their illness keeps them in places they prefer instead of where the should or need to be.
Imagine that child being me. Imagine me, waking up that special morning, with the sun shining bright and being able to hear the birds chirping. Thinking, what a wonderful morning as I commence on a new and memorable journey in life. As I got out of bed to begin this important journey, I searched the house for my parent. My parent was no where in sight. Not because of death but because of an illness that destroys families. The outfit didn't matter to me, nor did the hair or the shoes. What did matter to me was the fact that my parent wasn't there to help me prepare to put on my graduation robe.
I slowly grabbed my rode and began to lightly iron the robe, making sure I didn't apply to much heat to burn the material. I began to cry because I had to do it all by myself. No one to excite me, congratulate me or say how proud they were of me. After the last tear fell from my small face, I gathered my thoughts. I was the one that did the hard work to get here and I would be the one to make sure I got to where I needed to be.
At that time in life, I thought the place I needed to be was the school building practicing on marching in the auditorium. I realized later in life that I would make sure I would get to any place that I am destined to be. I was determined, even as a child, to not let anything or anyone hold me back to completing success. You don't have to let your obstacles control you, but you get around and through those obstacles if you stay focus and determined. You must not give up.... ever!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
A Settled Plan
At times in life, we find ourselves settling with certain things. This particular thing I will speak on is relationships. You get use to the person your are with until you find it harder to walk away. Security makes it harder to walk away, loneliness makes it harder to walk away and comfort makes it harder to walk away.
You get used to your surroundings and you might want to keep it that way. Your used to the mortgage or rent being paid, the lights, gas or whatever expense you don't have to worry about. Do you really want to have to cover the expenses you don't want to, or what you're not use to paying? Maybe you want to continue shopping with that part of the money for yourself.
You get used to that other body sleeping or laying next to you. You don't want to have that spot be empty. You might feel that you cant sleep comfortably thru the night. The time that you have nothing to do, you always have that person there. To watch movies, to go to the theatre, go out to eat, or to do whatever.
You know that person knows all your flaws. Every single last one of them. You are comfortable with that person seeing you as you really are. Your stomach might not be as perfect as you would like it to be. Your legs might not be as toned, you biceps or triceps might not be as big as you like. No matter what it is, you are comfortable with only that person looking at you completely, and feeling comfortable.
If you truly want to be happy you cant settle. I know it may seem scary to leave all those commodities but if you want real happiness, you might have to. Take the time to get to know you. Stop splurging on the finances, save some money so you can prepare to handle your bills on your own. On those lonely days,call a friend or a best friend. Try to keep busy with anything. Reading, biking, walking, take up a new hobby but don't over load on to one friend. You don't want to drive them crazy.
Sometimes when we settle, we begin to lose our self. Like, you settled so much that at times you cant tell when you're lying (not being truthful with yourself) or if you really don't like something. You've settled for so long, you cant really tell. But one of the biggest reason we settle is because of our children. Don't settle for that reason either. Children can fell and pick up on tension, uneasiness and sorrow. Even little children can pick up on it. Communicate with the children, let them know how you feel. Be honest with them and create a dialogue. You might be surprised to hear them say, they want to see you happy. Make a plan to be happy and stop settling.
You get used to your surroundings and you might want to keep it that way. Your used to the mortgage or rent being paid, the lights, gas or whatever expense you don't have to worry about. Do you really want to have to cover the expenses you don't want to, or what you're not use to paying? Maybe you want to continue shopping with that part of the money for yourself.
You get used to that other body sleeping or laying next to you. You don't want to have that spot be empty. You might feel that you cant sleep comfortably thru the night. The time that you have nothing to do, you always have that person there. To watch movies, to go to the theatre, go out to eat, or to do whatever.
You know that person knows all your flaws. Every single last one of them. You are comfortable with that person seeing you as you really are. Your stomach might not be as perfect as you would like it to be. Your legs might not be as toned, you biceps or triceps might not be as big as you like. No matter what it is, you are comfortable with only that person looking at you completely, and feeling comfortable.
If you truly want to be happy you cant settle. I know it may seem scary to leave all those commodities but if you want real happiness, you might have to. Take the time to get to know you. Stop splurging on the finances, save some money so you can prepare to handle your bills on your own. On those lonely days,call a friend or a best friend. Try to keep busy with anything. Reading, biking, walking, take up a new hobby but don't over load on to one friend. You don't want to drive them crazy.
Sometimes when we settle, we begin to lose our self. Like, you settled so much that at times you cant tell when you're lying (not being truthful with yourself) or if you really don't like something. You've settled for so long, you cant really tell. But one of the biggest reason we settle is because of our children. Don't settle for that reason either. Children can fell and pick up on tension, uneasiness and sorrow. Even little children can pick up on it. Communicate with the children, let them know how you feel. Be honest with them and create a dialogue. You might be surprised to hear them say, they want to see you happy. Make a plan to be happy and stop settling.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Choices
Nothing much is going on. I don't want to use this blog as a vent source, so I wont vent here about my issues. They only thing going on right now is reminiscing of the past. Thinking about the what ifs. If I had did this, or if I would have taken that route. I keep thinking about the, if I would have chosen him! I cant go back, all I can do is look forward. Try to make changes in my life that will be for the better. Knowing that things may have been better, if I did choose him, I try to do things now that will put me in the place I know I would be in if I were with him. Such as financial choices, educational choices, things like that.
Not to say everything I do is based on him, from the past but choices I know that he would want to see me achieve. The current person is nothing like the one I let get away but he has his own qualities. Some qualities are good, very good.....but I still cant help but wonder about the other qualities I want also. The other qualities that truly match more of me then just the mother and caregiver side.
I'm hoping I stop thinking as much as I do or time will continue to pass. I have a plan. Either be part of the plan or become the plan.
Not to say everything I do is based on him, from the past but choices I know that he would want to see me achieve. The current person is nothing like the one I let get away but he has his own qualities. Some qualities are good, very good.....but I still cant help but wonder about the other qualities I want also. The other qualities that truly match more of me then just the mother and caregiver side.
I'm hoping I stop thinking as much as I do or time will continue to pass. I have a plan. Either be part of the plan or become the plan.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The Casual Side
This post will be a little different. I was asked by a young lady, what was my opinion regarding a young man she is dating. She asked him about their relationship. Where do they stand. She said he never answers that question. He usually changes the subject or mentions, other things. She only wants an answer because she doesnt want to hurt him. I told her, he doesnt want to answer the question because he's scared she going to ask for something more and he really doesnt want it to be anything more then what it is, casual. Now, she doesnt want a committed relationship from him because she just doesnt want to take that route at this time in life.
I asked her if he tries to take control of situations or is he demanding, she said yes to both, but once they meet up, he can be so sweet. If he feels he can control the situation, he'll feel as if he can control the emotions in the casual relationship. But, if he only took the time to listen, he would also know she is on the same page as him... Keeping it casual.
He will continue to evade the question because the control and the demands make him feel real manly, and he doesnt want to be feel committed or tied down. For some women, we need to here that things are still casual because it can help us with a mental reality check. But if you asking a guy a question about you alls relationship and he doesnt answer, thats as good as getting the answer. He aint ready so dont force it. Keep it casual or start to moving on.
In this case, the young lady just wants to confirm they are still casual because she just doesnt want to hurt him because she doesnt want anything more then what it is. He would know that if he just listened. Some guys get so caught up into there own ego's that, he probably thinking, "Im not answering that question cuz I know she wants me more"... Thats not the case all the time brotha. Maybe she just want to make sure your feelings havent changed and you are still on the same page as her, the casual side.
I asked her if he tries to take control of situations or is he demanding, she said yes to both, but once they meet up, he can be so sweet. If he feels he can control the situation, he'll feel as if he can control the emotions in the casual relationship. But, if he only took the time to listen, he would also know she is on the same page as him... Keeping it casual.
He will continue to evade the question because the control and the demands make him feel real manly, and he doesnt want to be feel committed or tied down. For some women, we need to here that things are still casual because it can help us with a mental reality check. But if you asking a guy a question about you alls relationship and he doesnt answer, thats as good as getting the answer. He aint ready so dont force it. Keep it casual or start to moving on.
In this case, the young lady just wants to confirm they are still casual because she just doesnt want to hurt him because she doesnt want anything more then what it is. He would know that if he just listened. Some guys get so caught up into there own ego's that, he probably thinking, "Im not answering that question cuz I know she wants me more"... Thats not the case all the time brotha. Maybe she just want to make sure your feelings havent changed and you are still on the same page as her, the casual side.
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